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ricebowljournals.

20071109
'cause these are the days worth living, these are the years we're given.

and because i am so afraid of losing everything i have.
so afraid of forgetting everything when i have too much to think.
so afraid of waking up one day to find everything so grey.

TH DnD @ Fort Canning - Heroes the Showdown
with the D3 "slutty" everyday heroes, Street Fighters, mad scientists, pirates, Austin Powers & Mr Bean.

SH DnD @ Grand Copthrone Waterfront Hotel
with my darling girls from Sheares!

Arts Thank You Dinner @ Peninsula Excelsior Hotel
with my beloved House ICs & friends.and something quoted from Hock's blog from sometime back:

"Chonghan told me during O Week 2007 that house ics are like taps.

No matter how down or sad we may be deep down inside ourselves, when its time for action, we need to straightaway jump up and rara the houses or entire camp. Sometimes we put on a false front of laughter, craziness or a big grin, not becoz we are insincere, but becoz our job is to always brighten up the people around us. And to be professional and for the sake of our freshmen and councilors, we have to do that. =)

Maybe that explains why there's always a special bond among us, and how we can talk heaven and earth, even after fop haha. And i cant explain it, but i m always very happy when I m with either Chongz, Bobsie, Camy, Michelle, Xiao Indu or Julie."

he said it all, for me. (:

Orestes @ Harbourfront Dragon Gate Restaurant
with my freshies, councillors and fellow seniors, who never forgot me although i was never with them most of the time. and the 101 dishes ordered by Jerry and Jason.
D3 girls @ midnight kbox
with the silly antics by AnLi, the terrorising of the younger waiter, the dancing on the sofa, and the hundreds of dishes of snacks devoured by us.
JCRC dinner & Dina's birthday @ Sakura
with the good food and good company, and a treat from the President. and durian puffs! (:

Bao's ultra-belated birthday @ New York New York
with us being super gluttons for the night.
cupcakes from Hock.
and all our lovely Tuesday lunches. (:

TH Night Cycling - Put the Fun Between Your Legs!
starting point: TH
with the usual photo-whore session while waiting for departure. feels like the year ago, with the only difference in the creases of fatigue on our faces, and of course the shirt colour. haha.
1st stop @ Al Azaar
with the stupid actions that rendered the stares of the passers-by, and the discovery of Planta Prata! it's how nice can? and the pretty-to-look-at Bandung Dinosaur!

2nd stop - the killer overhead bridge & MacRitchie!
after the scare of the bike dying outside the cemetry. and us unintentionally making too much noise. and the A1 guys helping our all-girl group hoist our hefty bicycles across the bridge. and concussing at the reservoir.
3rd stop - Newton Circus
with us being so thirsty that we ordered 7 cups of drinks for 4 people. our satay and chicken wings. and the random uncle telling us that we should join the Olympics for cycling. HAHAHA.

destination: East Coast Park Jetty
all tired and aching badly. and a butt so sore that we couldn't even walk properly. TIRED!
Group 3!
D2 + D3 + E2 girls!
Eliza, Rachel, Anli, Shun, Veron, PJ, Julie, Fiona, Cheryl, Gwen, Ellen, Shuyan and Amelia!
with Shimin & Johnson, our heroes and guides. (:
Joanna's 21st birthday!
dinner @ Teahouse
good food after the long night of cycling.
the walk down Singapore River, ala tourists

drinks @ Eskibar

supper @ Sing's
with the usual gossips, with my favourite girls. (:
my wonderful groupmates for this semester!
the "chaokeng" EL1101E group 2!
with Ritchell, Audrey and Keps, and our usual curry don after tutorials! (:
the multinational PL3242 tutorial group mates!
one from England, one from China and three from Singapore!
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, XINYU! (:

the little ones who bring some genuine carefree laughter to the corridors.
Bryan, Heidi & Dominic!

and lastly, this from Mummy.she is how cute can? it was raining, so she decided to pop by the Salvation Army next her workplace. and she saw this Kerropi for sale at $1. and so she bought it. and she blew it up to make sure it wasn't broken. and she propped in nicely on my bed, for me to discover when i return home for the weekend. and little things like this warm my heart. no matter what i have to go through here, and how people always say at least you learn and grow up from those, at least it comforts me to know that, somewhere, in some hearts, i will always be that little girl who loves her froggie so much that she lugs it everywhere she goes. (:

so much smiles & laughter.
but so much sorrow at the same time.

thank you for showing me that i am not alone in this world. for letting me know that should the world fails, there is someone i can turn to. although i can't, but still, thanks.

but open our hearts, and fill up the emptiness, with nothing to stop us.

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group1 soared @ 22:23

xoxo

20071004
a certified life saver.

i am!
and we all are. (:

JCRC outing to the blood donation drive in school. haha. wanted it to be an initiation for us, to all go "shed some blood", but most of them couldn't make it. anyway, it was a good experience today! the waiting time was short and the refreshments was SO good! haha. piping hot milo and pastry! unlike the packet milo and biscuits back in JC. haha.

it's my 5th donation! =D everytime i go for a donation, i'll remember how i felt when i fainted after my first ever donation. and i'll be so scared that history will repeat itself again! but so far for the four times after, things are looking good. so i guess i'm a stronger and healthier person now! haha.

in other words, i think i'm much fatter. staying in hall makes me fat. all the weight lost in Rag has come back to me! ARGH! i've decided to declare my diet plans on this space. haha. so people, please tell me to stop eating and start jogging!

=D

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group1 soared @ 18:02

xoxo

20070926
mooncake festival!


a wonderful day in hall despite the sweltering heat! was dying/melting in my room with my Bio Psych book, which looks like it's absolutely written in French to me. i had to re-read the lines over and over again, and still not understand them. and it doesn't help that the heat was enticing me to my bed and lala-land.

had a massive fogging exercise in hall due to the recent dengue cases! synchronised fogging was hilarious. we went around with our cans of Baygon and sprayed all over the rooms, toilets, kitchen, tv lounge and corridors. pest busters in the making! and we escaped when the external foggers came around. the plan was to chase the mosquito by our internal Baygon fogging, and kill them all with the external one. and it was a synchronised effort by us, our neighbour Eusoff and some private estate near West Coast. i think we just polluted the air of West today!

escaped to Holland V for dinner with the D girls, and 1 D guy. haha. dinner was good! a break away from school food. loithered around and finally headed back to hall to celebrate the day!

it was of mooncakes, lanterns, sparklers and fun people! at the hall carpark. plus alot of jumping attempts by us! a short celebration, but definitely enjoyable.

this reminds me that i need to lose weight. BIG time. double chin! flabs! AHHHHHHH. but i'm so weak when i see them! ):

feeling so tired everyday. there's so much to be done, but somehow i feel that there's so little i can do.

and i really hate it when there's no appreciation in anything, period. to get the blame of things when it's really not my fault. unless you fault me for taking the initiative to get things going to where they're supposed to? for doing something that nobody wants to.

i don't understand the world sometimes.
but then again, i think i never did.

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group1 soared @ 03:12

xoxo

20070901
of the simple things in my life.

little things that finally put a genuine smile to my face, in such a long while.

it feels good to just let go of everything that was previously preoccupying my mind, and putting me through all the pain. it was hard to look at everything and have those thoughts come running back in a rush, but i found out that i can actually capable of doing it. and i do feel good about myself.

gave myself a break after completing whatever i still had on hand. a short break, but a good break. one that allows me to see everything in retrospect, without much emotional input.

and to all those who made it possible: my girls, my neighbours, my batchies. my friends. (:

block theme night with deeblock's victory. made my first ever kimchi fried rice. devoured it with vodka with the D3 girls. (:

met up with my Day 4 committee @ Fish&Co. three years of friendship, and i'm thankful for it. (:
bugis street with D3 girls. cheap dinner @ Ms Clarity, shopping and more shopping, and drinks at tcc. they made me laugh so hard, i swear i was bursting out of the chair.

dinner after service with seniors and juniors. (:

impromptu lunch with Marie, and shopping at my "Orchard Road" (i.e. my favourite Co-op and bazaar @ Central Forum). we have matching Patricks to hang on our bags! and i'm proud of my buys. haha. i love Orchard Road. (:

our much-awaited for steamboat @ D3! with some guest appearances from D2 and D4! bought too much food, ate too many fishballs, sotongballs, prawnballs, mushroom balls and whatever balls you can think of, drank too much malibu, and laughed too much. a pretty oily affair, but it was so good! (:

Convocation Dinner! together with Gwendo and Minsun, we the seafood ladies (so because PJ insisted that Gwendo looked like one in her polo tee and black skinnies, and we all had on the same outfit!) helped to serve food to the hightable and the uncle treated us to the ultra sinful brownie with ice-cream! the seniors looked so good in their gowns. and Master too! it feels so Harry Potter-ish. haha. we are now determined to graduate in hall (if we can survive!) so that we can get such treatment!

and a jog to West Coast and back with Jo and Minsun. took a slow walk through the park while taking in the fresh air filled with the greenness of nature's beauty. contradictingly, it was a relaxed jog.

a timely rest that kept me in perspective. which came just nicely, when i was at the brink of the peripheral, blinded without any direction, devoid of any emotions except hurt, and when i just lost myself. i found myself back.

decisions to be made, and i have it all in my head. i was hard on the determination to simply leave to seek back the life i had, but now i realised that this is what gives me life in some aspect. this is where i found so many smiles, amidst the few tears. it was hard when all was void and gloomy, but at my peak, i looked down and realised that roses, despite their thorns, are really pretty.

getting pricked was a painful lesson, but it didn't teach me to stay away from roses completely. sometimes, we just have to be a little more careful around ourselves, and we will still be able to bask in the beauty of these simple things life has to offer us.

hopefully, my roses will bloom. (:

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group1 soared @ 01:10

xoxo

20070820
of a posh dinner, fireworks, zirkus@dxo and wonderful people.

had a lovely end to the hectic first week of school. the first week when we're still tied down with RAG cleanups, and the need to adjust back to school. with all the hustle of buying and selling textbooks, of settling tutorial slots and of attending the first lectures. and of course, to meet up with the people i've missed so much.

dinner @ Sha Villa with D3 girls
the great company for the night.

our food! crab cakes, chilled tomato soup, lamb chop, seabass, apple compote, and finally, coffee and tea! (:

with PJ's godbrother, who made the dinner possible. it's actually some project for the Shatec students, and we're there as guests so that they can be assessed on their skills! albeit a few plates dropping, the very noisy kitchen, over-enthusiastic waiters who caused a few laughs, it was a pretty enjoyable dinner!

and it was a beautiful night with these girls. (:

dinner @ Billy Bombers, and fireworks!
finally back together! after our holidays spent in UCLA, RAG and SWOC. (: and we had our share of both sea animals (i like!) and land animals (Weising likes!), with the seafood platter and grilled spring chicken. and a nice scope of B&J strawberry cheesecake to end it off.

we didn't plan for this, but we all had red shoes on!

a pleasant surprise we received from dining alfresco was the fireworks display! it was so pretty! and there were so many people!

i love the red fireworks! (:

and as you can see, it was a thumbs up night for us! (:

arts bash, Zirkus @ DXO
made my way over to DXO after the fireworks and boy, the crowd was huge. we almost got trampled to death on the way there. got a flower for one of my freshies from Rumpa! saw a few familiar faces here and there, but the main crowd wasn't around. cheered and shouted for my freshies. and although me and Shuning were at opposite ends of the club and we couldn't see each other, we most certainly heard each other loud and clear! (: it was fun while the mambo songs were playing with Ivan leading the crowd, but i left pretty early to retire for the night. this marks the end of projectsix for arts! and it's finally time for everyone to get a good good rest and to plunge into school.

and some photos from hall orientation, of my wonderful Dakarai mates! (:
the people who helped me so much along the way in RAG! and i'll remember how we did our Dakarai cheer on welcome ceremony night, as though we were freshies back in orientation once again! (:

it's times like this when i feel really blessed for the people i have around me. (:

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group1 soared @ 00:53

xoxo

20070816
heroes: the uprising.

hall bash @ Zouk. time flies so fast. and i can still remember the last hall bash @ Gotham Penthouse a year ago.

same group of people. but a different feeling altogether.

i'm thankful for my D3/E2 girlfriends for the company for the night! and of course the crazy RAG people who just wanted to get everything off our minds and heavy hearts. for the moments of "i'm not drunk, i'm not drunk!". for the two suppers of the night, at the prata shop where we tried to cheat the uncle of skyjuice, and back at Fong Seng. for the success in DnD committee. for the many drunkards that we had to send back to hall, even with some puke landing on my heels. for a great night, a good night that i've never had for so long. (:

my D3/E2 girls! (:

deeblockers, now and then!
Gwen & Fiona / the Korean
Diana & PJ / Veron


more deeblockers!
Amos / Guanyou
Weiliang / Zhihao


the RAGgers! (:
Diana, Germ, Jed Jed, Eliza & Charmaine / Shaokai & Ann Huat
with Chin Wei! / the head and the vice. (:


and the hallmates who helped so much for RAG! (:
Alwyn, the lorry driver / Jiting & Xianhong / Melvin, who spent so many late nights with us
Edmund, freshie & pageant finalist! / Luke! / Joanna
Stacey! / OC girls, Peini, An Li & Shunwei! / Meilin

a great night out, before going back to the nightmare.

i've been waking up with bad dreams of it. and yes, i should stop thinking about it. right now, i just want it to end. badly.

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group1 soared @ 14:57

xoxo

20070606
aloha world!

i'm struggling to keep my eyes open to complete this entry. because i'm just so so so tired. ):

sometimes i wonder if i'm insane. insane enough to go agree to so many different things. do i think that i have 48 hours a day? apparently not. i think i barely have 12 hours a day, considering how my days fly away one after another.

first things first, Rag. it's driving us crazy. well, at least i can vouch for the 3 static girls. we spent the past week having training (in cutting and pasting stuff). and we came up with calendars, hierachy trees, materials charts, a Rag sign and are now halfway through our door IDs. and we went to the libraries and bookshops for research. this is one of our proud products:

we spent about 4 whole days on this sign. the measuring and cutting part was madness. i guess we kind of overworked ourselves in the first week. it's only the first week and we're dying already. tell me how to survive the next 10 weeks.

and bad news of the year, marketing was thrown to us too. because we had no marketing personnel. marketing. think productions sets. man, it's like doing sets all over again. i've been rejected like 2509 times since yesterday when we first started calling. like Joshua says, it's like trying to ask someone out and being rejected right smack in the face. the feeling SUCKS. majorly. i'm feeling kinda depressed from all the marketing calls. ):

next up, arts camp. i seriously wonder if i can live up to the expectations, if there are any at all. feeling kinda scared actually. like, technically, i'm still a freshie! okay, maybe a stale freshie. but i'm so worried that i won't know enough or am not experienced enough to do what is asked of me. sighs. thankful for the friends who will be by my side. i hope everything turns out well! pre-camp's on next week! (:

that event. SIGHS. i couldn't reject it, and yet i wonder if i can really contribute to it. why must shitty things like this always happen to me? must. learn. to. say. no. it's so difficult to! i want to improve things but why do i somehow feel that i'll screw up and mess things up even more? how now brown cow?

tuition. it is madness. had a replacement class with some kids and i almost died. seriously. i just hope that i'll have enough energy to sustain this, at least for this rag period.

the love where the weakness lies. i can't believe that i've pushed it to so far behind my mind. too weak to maintain it, or to do anything more. i hope my decision goes fine.

and it was all too good to be true. thinking and seeing too much into things on the first time, and sinking too deep into it. never had such feelings for a long long time, and it does feel different this time round. i can only hope for my prayers to be answered. for me to be myself. and for good things to happen, if they are meant to be.

on a rollercoaster of emotions. up one moment, and down the next. i think i should learn to smile like this more.
struggling to stay strong in all,
juls

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group1 soared @ 00:10

xoxo

20070524
preview of our 9 days in Korea.

haven't decided if i want to do an entry on this space here, or to pen everything down in solid words in a diary. till then, here's a preview. the thick black specs look with straight bangs are THE look in Korea. so Weiliang bought a pair of them from the street stalls in Dongdaemun (this place that has street stalls sprawling around after 9pm, with a million LV lookalikes and many cheap deals). and we all tried it on while we were waiting for the subway. we've been Koreanified. and we all have Korean names too! thanks to the native who helped us to translate our Chinese names. (:

training today was tiring. i feel so unfit. ): stamina is at an all-time low, much thanks to the sit-down-and-mug exam period. so Christine and me decided to go jogging from next week onwards! anyone wants to join us? only slow people like me allowed. we also decided to use a tortise to pace us. haha. so that we can be comforted that we're not the slowest.

anyways, i want to declare that i'll be officially away from next Monday, 28th May onwards. i'll be in Singapore, but i'll be spending my weekdays in hall, Saturdays on tuition and Sundays with the Lord. might be free during the weekends for short meet-ups but towards the later few weeks (nearer to 13th Aug), i might not be free at all. i'll be occupied with Rag. yes, Rag, for the people who know what it is. the reaction is always "are you crazy?". for the uninformed, Rag is an annual event in NUS as part of orientation for the incoming freshies. it is like a mini Chingay, where all the faculties and halls put together a float from scratch, using waste materials. it's a way of thanking the public for their donations on Flag day. so together, these 2 events are known as Rag and Flag. Rag usually elicits those -raise-eyebrows-and-think-you're-crazy kind of look because usually, the Raggers look like they don't sleep at all. they look like they spend all day cutting, pasting, sawing, sewing etc. haha. i don't know how much of this is true, although i'm hoping that it is not. will enlighten you all after i experience it. (:

and so, i'll be pretty tied up with Rag. thus, please do understand if i can't join you guys for any meet-ups or days out as frequently as before. do ask me out still, and i'll try my best to attend. NUS is not exactly very centralised, and it takes 3 whole hours to travel to town and back. we have to wake up by 9am every morning and only stop work at 8pm (if we ever do stop work. haha), so time is really tight. i hope you guys will understand! i'll be free after 13th August, Rag Day! (:

yeah, that was the announcement i've been wanting to make. haha. i don't mind delivery of food and bubble tea (sour plum ice blended please) to me, or dou jiang you tiao for supper! -grinns- i'll give my word that whenever i'm free, i'll meet-up with everyone alright? (:

i'm glad that i'm finally beginning to see some results. i guess all it takes is more determination and faith. the period of confinement in hall will be a good period for more! more determination and faith! (:

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group1 soared @ 00:17

xoxo

20070509
sequel of post-exams fun.

Ting's farewell party.
us being spastic as usual. last dinner in hall for this year!

walked past the alma mater on way to meeting Ricola peeps at YCK. they've gotten more awards! haha. there were only 3 when we graduated. time flies!

Ricola dinner @ Botak Jones
dinner! i think that the Clementi branch serves better food. oh wells. we were so full and we AMK-hubbed. haha. i finally went to AMK hub! yes yes, i know i stay like 10 minutes away from it but i've been so busy. it's so huge! i hereby declare AMK the coolest place in town. haha. (:

goodbye D201.
finally shifted everything out to the new room for the holiday. i shifted 3 fridges up 4 levels! although Weiliang insisted that he carried the bulk of the weight for my fridge, it was really heavy! especially Diana's huge fridge that is twice the size of a bar fridge. goodness me. perspired so much that i think i lost 5kgs. haha. i wish. will be missing this room!

Day Day Come by Sets Team (:
my fave piece of set from productions. cause we pasted the sequins one-by-one and it was such a long and tiring process. but it's nice right? it's from the nightclub scene. haha. and i thought of the name! (: left it outside our rooms. hopefully they wont destroy it! (:

kbox with hall peeps.
Wendy Wong Lin San! (: / spastic D2 neighbours
(: / PJ!

deeblock committee treat @ Carnivore
Brazillian restaurant! a galore of meat off the rack straight, sliced in front of you. and a fantastic salad bar. haha. a lil' pricey though, but worth it! had an assortment of meat and i love the ham the most! the beef was a lil' red and raw and i was scared. haha. it was good! (: i thought that the chefs looked like they stepped out of the Saw series or the Hostel movie with their knife swinging in front of us. haha. until they smiled for my camera, that is. (:

day out with the girls. (:
Fisherman's Wharf. shopping in Chinatown. Spiderman 3. lots of fun and laughter. (:

i did so many things yesterday! went down to Greendale to collect my reference letter. it was beautifull written! (: met old colleagues and chatted! (: went to ICA to change my passport photo. waited for very long and caught Mr Bean cartoons on the television there. went down to meet the girls for lunch. photocopied my letter. changed currency. searched for a dress for my interview. bought the dress. watched Spiderman 3. prepared my interview stuff. packed my luggage. watched Ugly Betty. surfed the MOE website. haha. i'm amaed by myself.

the interview went smoothly! as expected, they asked about the relief teaching stint. and the million dollar question came out. haha. yay! ask me if you want to know what that is. and the last question of the day was "why is your e-mail address soulfreed? is that what you are now?" i was so taken aback. haha. SOULFREED. that's want i want to be. (: the interviewers were so nice! i hope everything will turn out well. keeping all fingers crossed and do pray for me! (:

flying off in some six hours time. to the land of Sarangheyo~ a blessed and safe trip please! (:

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group1 soared @ 13:34

xoxo