20070606
aloha world!i'm struggling to keep my eyes open to complete this entry. because i'm just so so so tired. ):
sometimes i wonder if i'm insane. insane enough to go agree to so many different things. do i think that i have 48 hours a day? apparently not. i think i barely have 12 hours a day, considering how my days fly away one after another.
first things first, Rag. it's driving us crazy. well, at least i can vouch for the 3 static girls. we spent the past week having training (in cutting and pasting stuff). and we came up with calendars, hierachy trees, materials charts, a Rag sign and are now halfway through our door IDs. and we went to the libraries and bookshops for research. this is one of our proud products:
we spent about 4 whole days on this sign. the measuring and cutting part was madness. i guess we kind of overworked ourselves in the first week. it's only the first week and we're dying already. tell me how to survive the next 10 weeks.and bad news of the year, marketing was thrown to us too. because we had no marketing personnel. marketing. think productions sets. man, it's like doing sets all over again. i've been rejected like 2509 times since yesterday when we first started calling. like Joshua says, it's like trying to ask someone out and being rejected right smack in the face. the feeling SUCKS. majorly. i'm feeling kinda depressed from all the marketing calls. ):
next up, arts camp. i seriously wonder if i can live up to the expectations, if there are any at all. feeling kinda scared actually. like, technically, i'm still a freshie! okay, maybe a stale freshie. but i'm so worried that i won't know enough or am not experienced enough to do what is asked of me. sighs. thankful for the friends who will be by my side. i hope everything turns out well! pre-camp's on next week! (:
that event. SIGHS. i couldn't reject it, and yet i wonder if i can really contribute to it. why must shitty things like this always happen to me? must. learn. to. say. no. it's so difficult to! i want to improve things but why do i somehow feel that i'll screw up and mess things up even more? how now brown cow?
tuition. it is madness. had a replacement class with some kids and i almost died. seriously. i just hope that i'll have enough energy to sustain this, at least for this rag period.
the love where the weakness lies. i can't believe that i've pushed it to so far behind my mind. too weak to maintain it, or to do anything more. i hope my decision goes fine.
and it was all too good to be true. thinking and seeing too much into things on the first time, and sinking too deep into it. never had such feelings for a long long time, and it does feel different this time round. i can only hope for my prayers to be answered. for me to be myself. and for good things to happen, if they are meant to be.
on a rollercoaster of emotions. up one moment, and down the next. i think i should learn to smile like this more.
struggling to stay strong in all,
juls
Labels: arts, hall, heavingasigh, ofthyheart, redcross, soccer, tuition
group1 soared @ 00:10
xoxo