20071106
monday blues.
i am so TIRED of being tired of everything. tired of trying to live up to your expectations. tired of having to clear up the work for others. tired of helping you with your responsibilities. tired of making myself tired from things that aren't supposed to, and rendering myself too tired to do anything for myself.
and i am freaking tired of complaining on this space, as though there's nowhere else i can turn to.
perhaps it's a viscious cycle. like how i never share my thoughts on these to you. and so i seem like the worry-less and carefree little girl, who i am obviously not. and so, you can happily pile all your work on me, and think that it's perfectly okay and that i can cope well.
like how i asked Shun and PJ blatantly the other day. "do i look like an information counter? why do people ask me everything?" and yes, everything. everything in every single aspect of life. their answers made me think about how i am portraying myself to be. i think i should start looking less confident, because i really am not. i think i should stop answering questions, because i really can not.
so who do i turn to with my own questions?
myself? looking at how the world is treating me, yes, perhaps.
if i still have to reach out my hand to you when i'm shrivelling and shrinking deep inside, who is going to pull me back up when you don't give your hand in return?Labels: heavingasigh, kaleidoscope
group1 soared @ 02:36
xoxo