20070930
of life and love.
when memories get stirred up inside of me, i get such a confused feeling. a bittersweet one, like the salt ending of a Margarita, the push back to the starck harshness of reality.
such a love-hate relationship. i hated how it was, i hated what i went through. i hate the pain of picking up all the pieces after that. and i hated the brutality lashed out at me.
but i love it all the same. how we set out together. the days of laughter and fun in our little world. the little moments of joy we sought for amidst the craziness.
perhaps i'm amazed by myself for choosing this path again, after all that i went through. for being through it to know that i never want to do it again, but still sinking back down into it. perhaps i'm silly once again?
or maybe i've grown. to understand and expect, and to be better prepared for it. grown to know that this time round, it'll definitely be better.
it feels just like those times, when i slowly struggle to climb back up, to move on in a new embrace.
to think i was still wondering if i'm still left sunken in the debris of so many years ago. although the context might not be exactly the same, at least i know i've made progress. perhaps time is just not right yet, but it'll come.
has life taught me to how to love?
or has love taught me how to live?Labels: kaleidoscope, ofthyheart
group1 soared @ 01:17
xoxo