20060516
that opened wound.
for as long as i can remember, i haven't stared at a computer screen till so late at night (or rather early in the morning?). and to think that this was actually a norm in my life a couple of years back!
i still love the night. the peacefulness and the serenity. the calmness within myself that i can never fully grasp in the day. the feeling of my life being in total control of myself, which i don't know why? perhaps the lack of voices swarming around the ears? or the knowing that i am most likely not to get a new addition in my inboxes? whatever it shall be, i still love this new-found comfort.
i remember that i used to stay up at night just to think. to think about my day, to think about the people and to think about my life. and that habit stays. random thoughts just run aimlessly through my head, flickering like that broken light. and i do think that the zest came from a sense of freedom that was never awarded to them, for they are but what i would choose to not think about.
that news about him simply ignited a memory, one which i had tried to cast away. unwillingly it seeped out and somehow it felt as though the penetration was sharp and thorough, just like that of a blade that crawls up behind you.
with a sunken heart, i could feel an old wound being ripped opened by the careless stitches that were hastily made to conceal the incomplete within. but it wasn't the excruciating pain of that physical wound that hurt.
it was the piercing pain of knowing that the wound i once thought had healed is still raw beneath there.
group1 soared @ 04:08
xoxo