20060314
fading away.
every single time you look up after blinking for just a wee second, you'll see less of me left standing there. i'm fading away like the words they created with sand on the beach. the words that are left exposed to the sun and rain that show no mercy. i'm fading away. and someday when you finally look up and see that i'm standing there no more, you probably wouldn't even realise it. you would be smitten with the ones who are now standing there, so much that you wouldn't even remember that once, i stood there or that i even existed.
life has its best ways of playing tricks on you.
somehow along the way, i feel like i've lost so much of the person i used to be. used to be. how long ago has it been? i can't seem to find the big heart for everyone the way i had. everytime i look at somebody and am able to point out where he/she went wrong, i know that my ability to discern that comes from the fact that those unworthy traits exist in me too. i am not perfect myself. and with excessive workload and the lack of time factored in together, i find myself becoming less of the chirpy person that i used to be. i'm losing the character that i've grown up with.
i don't like this. i'm gonna find back my chirpy self, no matter how many incomplete task i have and how time always seems to fly by so fast for me. and i'm gonna lose my unworthy traits the way i can encourage other people to. i'm gonna go back to the me that i am comfortable with. (:
already three weeks into teaching and i'm still getting the hang of it. it's not easy handling 160 students and 3 different subjects all at the same time. frustrations boil up in me everytime students fail to hand in their work despite the plethora of reminders given to them. and yet everytime when a student does a piece of work well and somehow you know that he/she has changed for the better a little, every single bit of frustration will pale in comparison to that sense of satisfaction that you can't help having.
it's the March holidays! and i feel like a student all over again. (:
group1 soared @ 17:41
xoxo