20060105
mixed emotions.
torn. between a place where i feel comfortable in and a place where i have a responsibility towards. i need a place where i can find comfort in, for that's when i can put my heart in. but how can i walk away without a sense of guilt? can i just tear myself up into two pieces?
amazed. at how things are going. suddenly i'm plunged into an abyss of work that i never knew i had to take on. and how do you expect me to take it?
lost. why are there mistakes again and again? the reality of a working life is totally different. i can't just shake mistakes off. there are just too many strings attached. is this what i really want? is this what i gave up other things for? i don't know.
confused. with you. i really don't know what's happening. can you tell me?
how can all aspects of my life crumble down in a single day? i feel like a deflated balloon. and it feels as though my train that was working fine has suddenly derailed and i'm on a path to nowhere and try as i might, i can't stop it.
all i wanted was a place to hide. a place where i can seek solace in. a place where i can hear my heart. but when i turned my back, tears just started streaking down. perhaps it's telling me that the place that i was looking for wasn't physically one?
i need to grab hold of my life. but i simply can't.
group1 soared @ 02:41
xoxo