20060130
chinese new year!HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
(: did the usual routine for CNY this year. reunion dinner at grandparent's. Don drove me there on his bike 'cause the very lazy me feel asleep and missed going there with my parents. and i tell you, i almost fell off his bike! he weaved in and out of the cars, drove like there's no limit on the highway and did swerves so fast that i swear i was gonna hit the road any moment. and we reached Farrer Park in ten minutes! from Ang Mo Kio can? even the bus from Novena takes fifteen. gawd. the dinner was good! i just realised i haven't had homecooked food in ages. ):
Day 1 was the usual visiting at both my paternal and maternal sides. lots of red packets received but sadly i never got to see what they contained! haha. the money just gets banked into automatically by my parents. ): the visiting was boring, as usual. smiling at relatives whom you probably see only once a year. but new year goodies were GOOD! and Winnie insisted on photo-whoring with me. haha. (:
Day 2 was the day of "lets-go-squeeze-with-the-crowd-at-River-Hongbao!" i'm not very keen on that idea, as usual. but ya, it's almost become a tradition for my family. rushed down from work and it was REALLY squeezy. and sadly, Singaporeans can really get ugly at times when it comes to squeezing to the front just so that they can get the best view of things and hog it at the same time.
the result for photo-whoring for the past three days. (:
sometimes when i look back when i was fourteen going onto fifteen, i really wanna laugh at myself. laugh at what made me do those silly things. i was really rebellious back then. other than smoking, drinking and fighting, i was doing everything i could to be a rebel in front of my parents. my family's not exactly a close-knitted one. when me and my siblings were young, my parents took to working different shifts just so that they can take care of us. and it's still working the same way even now. and in secondary school, i was way involved in everything! with RC, class activities and school activities, i was returning home late every single day. so i hardly got the chance to see them, much less to say spend quality time with them. and my results in lower secondary were pretty good! i had As in every single subject except for Art. haha. and they're A1s! everytime i got back my results slip, i felt so good and wanted to run home to my parents. but they're so busy with their own work! so it's just take the slip, sign it and return to me. and the only thing they'll say is "why your Art so bad?" and excuse me, it's not even a F9 or an E8! it was merely a B or C!
that was so demoralising back then. i used to think about why i worked so hard to get such good grades but nobody actually cared. and both of my siblings were busy with their own lives to care about me too. and after a while, i just withdrew into myself and stopped talking to my parents altogether. my home became a house. and i started spending more time with my friends than with my family. tension in the family grew as my Mum was unhappy with me spending too much time outside. and being the very stubborn person that i still am today, i talked back to her a lot. and everything ended up in quarrels.
all these went on until one day in Secondary Three when my brother pulled me aside just when i was heading out to seek solace from my friends. he talked to me and woke me up. he made me realise that it's not that my parents didn't care for me; they just didn't know how to.
"it's not a matter of loving or not. it's a matter of how to."
since that day, i've never looked at my family in the same way as before. and instead, i'm grateful for having such a complete family.
it was so much like the storyline in that movie. and that was probably why i cried so much. it really touched me deep down inside. it was as if like a backtracking of my life, showing me how silly i was back then.
i think everyone goes through a rebellious patch in their lives in their growing up years. and that movie just presented the very essence of it in a way that'll you can definitely relate to and touch you.
when i saw the look in my parents' eyes upon receiving the red packet of my first pay, i know that i've grown up in their eyes. (:
group1 soared @ 23:24
xoxo