20060523
the beginning of the end.
things that replenish me and things that deplete me. without a doubt, we are always seeking for a source of replenishment. sometimes, replenishment was plenty initially, but eventually, the curve goes downwards to a period of depletion. there was comfort in knowing that despite the fatigue, you will always feel rewarded at the end of the day. there is extreme comfort in the rewards, especially so if it is an emotional reward. now, no matter how hard i try to, i can no longer seek comfort.
i just feel depleted.
and i feel it through and through.
and with depletion, the drive goes away.
sometime i wonder, why am i doing the things i do? why am i putting aside the things i truly enjoy just because i have to fulfil commitments, some of which i never had a choice for?
for the past years, when the mind reaches a standstill, i could slow down, take a step back and easily find my answer. the answer that keeps me going.
sadly but truly, i can no longer do so. i take time off to search through but telling myself that i will find it someday would be indulging in self-denial.
it is succinct. when passion turns into a burden, you know you need to stop. you know you need some time alone to do the things you truly enjoy, at your own pace.
we've all been walking so fast that our shoes that were bright and sparkling are now worn-out. it's times like this when we have two choices. to take off our broken shoes and continue walking, letting the cruel stones on the road prick us. or to sit down, take off our shoes and repair them to prepare for the journey ahead.
and for this question, i know i do have the answer.
group1 soared @ 21:49
xoxo