20060104
wings let go of.
i just let go of it. i seriously don't know what's happening. and i don't know what's with me. but i know that i can't possibly drag it any longer. it'll be too selfish of me to do so. i really need my space and time to adapt and to think. i can't handle changes, especially not when they all come smack into my face. i hope you'll understand my jargon of words and i hope you'll understand me.
what's happening? i've searched so long for that pair of wings. and when it appears? i held onto it for some time, but ultimately i let go of it willingly. i don't want to be selfish. but in the process, i know i still am. i just don't have faith in myself. i've lost it, for a long time already. everytime when i commit wholeheartedly, it ends badly. and when i don't, i feel bad but i had to be the one to end. i don't know what to expect, don't know what to give and don't know what to take anymore. perhaps i don't even know myself anymore.
maybe for now, i'll just learn to walk without any thoughts of flying. maybe the previous fall was too hard and i need to learn to walk all over again before i can harbour any thoughts of being able to fly. or maybe it takes a lot more to fly than to walk and i need to understand what i need. sorry if you can't be my pair of wings but i hope you'll still walk with me.
it's a long way there. i know.
group1 soared @ 03:41
xoxo