20050909
can't think of a title with my current state of mind.
since you're free and yet you're unwilling to show your bare minimum of support, i really have nothing to say. i'm speechless. and i'm too tired to quarrel with you anyway. since you're always right. and i'm always wrong.
guess i finally got a true glimpse of how family ties really work. or rather how they work in mine.
i'm disgusted. by the biasness. by the unsubtle display of that. by how "oh she is always right and you're not so shut up". by yet another door you've opened for me to see the world in a different light.
not exactly the right time for this eh? but i can't help it.
it's not helping when i still have tons of revision undone. and the incessant nagging fear of how i cannot remember what i've studied. which brings my state of revision to zero. zilch. which means i have so much more to study. and after i'm done, i'll forget them again. and then i'll have to start all over again. and yeah, just a vicious cycle.
there's so much to do. and yet so little time. i don't know why. i started my revision like so early? guess my pace is just snail-ish. i know i'm gonna flunk my prelims. like what's new.
everyone's giving the consolation that we're ultimately studying for the A's, not for this prelims. but how much longer are we going to keep ourselves in denial? when we score badly for every other common test, we'll think it's okay 'cause it's just a common test. when we once again do badly for the mid years, we'll just treat it as a start to studying for prelims. but now for prelims, we'll say A's is the ultimate. so if we can't finish studying for A's, where are we going to push the next blame on?
think i just got to face it. this type of life is just not for me. i never thought a JC education could be so tough. and so hard to pursue. and i guess the best i can do is to get decent enough grades for me to get into U. to pursue something i have interest in.
what a bad start to this day.
group1 soared @ 10:39
xoxo