these words keep slipping away.
my posts are getting monotonous. like the direction my life is heading towards.
long day today. spent the day recce-ing. first to the park for the night element with Daniel and Mr Cheng. walked like the entire park? up-slope, down-hill, past the carparks, past the joggers and all. so so so tiring. but at least it was a good place for the reflection. thank God.
next was island recce-ing with the rest of the islanders. finding places for the morning games, running around to find the travelling time and sneaking in a couple of photo shots with Janet and ShinHung. -grinns- was so totally drained and starving at the end of the session.
and the meeting that came up after that. so long. i would have just died if the islanders weren't as crappy. they're so crappy, silly and dirty-minded. my goodness. cracking lame and dirty jokes throughout the entire meeting. for once, i felt like i was sane.
oh wells. am extremely tired. but i'm glad we've settled the recce part. still a long way to go for us but hey, it wasn't easy to start out with and it's good that we're here already. strive on islanders!
met up with Winnie at HarbourFront to get the Mother's Day present. strolled around with nothing in mind. eventually we got her a kueh lapis (her fave!) and a cactus. yeah, that silly cactus is my idea! it's nice can? yeaps.
and we surprised her! glad that she likes the present. and she insisted on taking a family photo. one without Don. lols. shall post it up soon.
wanted to say so much to Mom. but all i could was 'Happy Mother's Day'. guess i still haven't found the words to express myself. sighs.
-
poured out all the nagging burdens of my heart to Ben yesterday. i tried screaming. and for once, my screams were heard.
there was really so much i wanted when we just started out. so much i wanted to achieve. to change the image. to push the status. to make everything enjoyable. but look. one entire year has passed. and look where we are now. status quo. or perhaps maybe even falling down the steps of success. i feel like sucha failure.
everytime i lament, i push the blame away. but who's really to blame? me. me, myself and i. i wasn't firm enough in saying what i want. i wasn't organised enough to plan things well. i wasn't committed enough to push for what i want. in other words, i just ain't good enough for this.
sorry that it took me one entire year to realise that.
but i'm glad someone was here to listen.
he had no other arm with which to fight the shadows that flickered around him on the floor.
shadows that only he could see.
he could do only one thing at a time.
if he touched her, he couldn't talk to her.
if he loved her, he couldn't leave.
if he spoke, he couldn't listen.
if he fought he couldn't win.
these words are making sense. finally.
group1 soared @ 21:45
xoxo