20041025
words. thoughts.
i know i'm never good at expressing myself verbally. i've never been able to express my emotions when in front of others. i can only express myself by writing. in my blog, in that book and little random notes here and there. you know that has always been my breaking point. you know i tend to walk away when i know i can't express myself well. and you know i'm trying very hard already. i'm learning to express myself better. i'm learning not to keep everything inside me. i'm learning to letting you know how i feel. but it doesn't seem to work either. i think i simply suck at expressing. maybe i should just keep everything bottled up rather than bother others with it.
maybe for the last time, i chose to express my thoughts in that manner. i guess it was all just emotions poured out onto paper. i don't know how you will choose to receive it, but whatever the case is, i know i've done all that i can. i've said all that i want to. and i've gone as far as i could. Boo. if you're reading this, i just want to let you know that i'm definitely not gonna have any regrets in what i'm doing. thanks for being there for me.
i'm not gonna expect anything more. the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment. so i choose not to expect anything. no matter what happens, i won't be disappointed. and if something does happen, it'll be a pleasant surprise.
as the serenity of the night sets in, i know that things are definitely different. gotta learn to stand up on my own. the world is not gonna stop turning just for me.
silly me. i told myself i'll never get myself hurt again. and stupidly i thought things could be different. stupidly i got myself hurt again. blame it on myself.
just one week ago i thought everything was beautiful. i thought my life couldn't have gotten better. but one week later i'm wishing things couldn't get worse.
maybe that's life. all about serendipity. discovering what is it that i really seek in life. discovering what is it that i need. discovering about you and i.
just a cruel test of time. i used to think that if we can make it through this we can make it through everything. i guess i was wrong.
maybe someday i'll look back and smile.
maybe.
group1 soared @ 19:34
xoxo